Archive for the ‘Press Releases’ Category

6
Feb

The Scroll Has Been Transcrolled

   Posted by: MASTER SCRIBE Tags: , , ,

The Scroll is now available in its fulness here on The SCRIBES Guild website.  Just go to the table of contents page to start reading.  I mean, go there now! Do not finish reading this post.  Just stop.  There isn’t anything else here to read anyway.  All I am going to do is continue to command you to read The Scroll and make threats that I cannot fulfill from long distances.  I mean it, really.  There is no point in continuing to read this.  Please stop… do you even realize what you are doing?  You fool! I command you to begin reading The Scroll.  Don’t make me curse you or anything… Don’t make me do it… are you stopping?  Huh?  Fine, you leave me with no choice… I Curse You!  There.  I did it.  Are you happy?  Fine, I’ll stop writing first, then you stop reading, OK?  On the count of 3: 1… 2… 3…

You’re still here… aren’t you?  Fine, then I’m just ending this post.

Many corrupt companies have long sought out to destroy The Scroll, Inc. and silence their open solicitation of The Scroll.  With the world always at its throat, The Scroll, Inc. has faced many challenges that would have seemed insurmountable by most of the corporate populations.    

However, a recent discovery within their corporate structure leaked to the public, and shareholders began selling stock like Hannah Montana merchandise.  It turns out that the president of The Scroll, Inc. was a 1500-year-old patch of sentient seaweed from the northern Atlantic Ocean that had uprooted itself and come upon land with dreams of achieving Enlightenment.  Instead, it found a cruel world filled with crushed dreams and harsh realizations.  So, instead of seeking Enlightenment, it decided to save the world by promoting various tyrannies and monarchies that it felt were beneficial to the people. After hearing so much of The Great Ones, it decided to fully support them as world leaders.  After joining The Scroll Coalition, it took a part time job pushing papers in one of The Scroll, Inc. foreign offices.  After only a few years, it rose to become President of the Board of Directors of the entire corporation. Under its intuitive and unprecedented leadership, The Scroll, Inc. became one of the greatest world powers.  The world, however, after learning the identity of great seaweedian president, betrayed its once beloved company.

After the downfall of The Scroll, Inc., the world’s economy began to fail.  Real estate dropped, gas prices skyrocketed, and hearts sank into despair.  Many computer and Internet related businesses, however, continued to thrive, so The SCRIBES Guild acquired all of The Scroll, Inc.’s assets and created this website utilizing some of the great utilities of the Web 2.0 phenomenon.

Because of the shortage of scribes, and because The Scroll must be transcribed by hand (using secret, ancient techniques) each time, it may be some time before all sections of The Scroll are available on our website.  Please subscribe to our RSS feed to be notified when there are updates.